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Just another lonely soul

imagineyourotp:

Imagine your OTP kissing passionately in bed. Person A rolls over onto Person B to start making love, but underestimates how much mattress is left and rolls off Person B and onto the floor. They laugh so hard the mood is killed, and end up snuggling instead.

ruraljackdaw:

Some of the best pickup lines I’ve used so far:

  • If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
  • If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.
  • Are you a robot? Cause I’d like to turn you on.
  • I need a map. I keep getting lost in your eyes.
  • Do I know you? Cause you look like the man I want to marry.
  • I lost my horse. Can I ride you instead?

AND THEN I GOT THIS ONE IN RETURN

  • Here, could you hold this for me while I go for a walk? *holds out hand*

FUCK THAT’S CUTE

justprisonersoflove:

whose idea was it to end this show

alwayshalfastepbehind:

fangirloftoomany:

holmesandpotterinthetardis:

madcapwhovian:

madcapwhovian:

Things that shouldn’t have been cut out of the Harry Potter Movies: ST FUCKING MUNGO’S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES 

ALSO THE FUCKING POINTS HOURGLASSES WHY WERE THESE THINGS CUT I AM SO ANGRY

AlSO THE HOUSE ELVES SWARMING OUT OF THE KITCHENS DURING THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS

ALSO PEEVES

ALSO GINNY’S BADASS PERSONALITY 

spn-fandom-breathing-heavily:

archivesofgallifrey:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

willgrahamps:

wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple

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because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.

It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like 

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”

kingloptr:

fruitappreciation:

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

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mahbuddymycroft:

fivetail:

dopernose:

Back in prehistoric times it was just a free for all. God was putting antlers on everything and made 7 foot tall gophers with wings, it was a mess.

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Look at this poor, impractical bastard. 

The prehistoric era was God’s Deviantart stage.

Now he just hides all of his stupid-looking OCs in the ocean where no one can find them.

I can’t not reblog this

booksandwildthings:

interstellarmage:

i knew this guy in middle school who when asked about his future plans, even by school counselors or teachers would without fail always chant,

KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE
REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE

i wonder what he’s up to these days.

Looks like Jim Kirk was born a few centuries early…

demonizedhumanity:

missxdelaney:

itseasytoremember:

there are people on this website with children

there are people on this website who have their life together

there are people on this website who are award winning novelists

today i tried to smile at someone with water in my mouth and almost died

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I’m on my phone so idk what that gif is but i have feeling it’s either spn related or it’s the gif of harry smiling at cho

thymegaforeskin:

I almost died at this one

thymegaforeskin:

I almost died at this one

lenle92:

When your favorite character gets injured

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listoflifehacks:

listoflifehacks:

epicwumbology:

listoflifehacks:

au8:

listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

I swear people who follow listoflifehacks will be the most prepared for a zombie apocalypse

And there’s more where that came from

I can’t believe that i learn more survival skills from tumblr instead of school

Always another ListOfLifeHacks where that came from

You can even use tampons to survive

b3k4hhh:

pierce-the-tony:

wish-iwerent-here:

rawrawrawrimmahobo:

watchtheskytonight:

wicked-literature:

REBLOG this to prove you are not a Muggle.

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my reblog button fucked up and i almost had a heart attack

I did it in the first try.

OH YEAH

OH MY GOD.

MY COMPUTER BROWSER FROZE AND I DIDN’T REALIZE IT. I COULDN’T BREATHE.

JESUS.

But the lack of notes truly worries me

Bam.

J

My mouse accidently slid off of the button and I was like, “dkfsafsa”

BAM. Not a muggle.

I knew my letter got lost!!